When we are driving together, my dad will often say…
‘Pro tip!’
And then he will tell me that you should turn the steering wheel without crossing your hands or take your foot off the brake while going over a speed bump. The phrase ‘pro tip’ always makes me laugh — the confidence! the conviction! #classicdad
But during dinner with friends the other night, I caught myself doing the same thing. We were eating under heat lamps at Frankies Spuntino, and I announced, “Pro tip: It’s not written on the menu, but you can order the cavatelli with cauliflower instead of sausage.”
Pro tip! Ha. Everyone has them.
This weekend, I also read a Twitter thread by writer Helen Rosner about 14 things she learned by age 40, including “Be the friend who makes a decisive call when everyone else is waffling about what to eat” and “Sure, everyone’s body is beautiful, but a much more liberating realization is that, also, everyone’s body is disgusting.”
Inspired, I thought of 14 more I’ve developed over the years:
— If you’re not sure what karaoke song to choose, Eternal Flame is always fun.
— Every kid and adult should read this book, then discuss it for the rest of their lives.
— Love is great band to play at dinner parties. Alternately, play ’80s greatest hits on Spotify.
— Put mustard powder in scrambled eggs.
— Be on time when picking someone up from the airport; it means weirdly a lot to everyone.
— If you want to make kids laugh, do a prat fall or fumble whatever you’re holding. Seeing an adult be awkward is the greatest thing on the planet.
— Then, for a bedtime story, tell them about a time you broke a bone, crashed a bike, or got in trouble at school.
— You’ll never regret an evening walk. Or a morning walk. Or lunchtime walk.
— You are much more beautiful than you think.
— If you feel stressed, pee and drink a glass of water.
— If you feel panicky, look for green things around you until your mind settles.
— Everyone is thinking about themselves. No one is thinking about you. Once you realize this, you will be liberated forever.
— Say thank you.
— There’s no such thing as an uncomplicated life. (This one is from Olive Kitteridge.)
I’m so curious, what are your pro tips? Please share below!
P.S. The trick of life, thoughts on aging, and why are dads’ texts so freaking cute?
(Photo by Bo Bo/Stocksy.)